I have been thinking of the past quite a bit. Not in a bad way, of course. Just in a self-reflecting manner, that’s all.
Sharing and chronicling my past can help with… eh… it’s good for my writing projects… probably?
Ok please watch out for my next write-up.
Ya I envy people a lot.
I envy those that get to travel all over the world with no worries of how much to spend and they could go on trips a few times a year.
I envy and I try to do better, but yet still manage to save up for that Rainy Day Fund.
Many tell me to compare to those not as well-off to make myself feel better. But what’s wrong with looking up and work to move closer to a target?
That keeps me going and the thought of visiting somewhere new keeps me sane. What’s life without some future wishes and hopes?
As the cost of living rose dramatically over the past 2 years for all of us in Singapore, I am personally seriously feeling the pinch like never before.
Of course, the car is a huge expense to start with. The bank loan, the rising petrol costs, the parking charges, the maintenance and replacement of parts, the insurance and the road tax… all of these are really very very very taxing on my finances. After all, we live on one of the most expensive places to own and maintain a car.
It’s perhaps easy to say “Sell the car lah! Since it’s so expensive to upkeep!” But with the awful loan that I have taken (10 years, to be exact!), topped with the unwillingness to go back to taking public transport once again – I have to come to terms that the premium I am currently paying is inextricably improving the quality of my life in immeasurable terms.
Yes, the choice of long convoluted words expressed the complex emotions I felt about being a car-owner to no end.
Since day 1 of that wonderful thing called car-ownership, I loved being able to zip around everywhere I so wished. I wouldn’t be able to accomplish so much of the CWS errands, meetings and events if I didn’t have my own ride. Taking taxis may end up costing even more, considering the amount of distance I have traveled in the comfort of my dear little R1.
Oh. But oh… At the same time I felt so much guilt with this huge expenditure that I have brought upon my good self. I don’t earn a million bucks a month. Why did I embark on this somewhat doomed journey to my personal financial hell? How did I convince myself to sign above that darned dotted line? I never was one for big wilful purchases… How did I even get started on that thought of wanting to get my own car?
Wait. I remember. I remember those agonising days of waiting for the bus in the scorching heat. Those days of having my clothes stuck to my back with sweat that oozed out incessantly, no matter how many times I tried to imagine a calm, cool lake in my frazzled mind. Those times when my back ached constantly from standing in queue at the crowded bus interchange.
Jeffwee would definitely remember the fast and furious SMSes that I sent him whenever I missed the feeder bus, and when there were never cabs available when I needed them the most. Oh, how much I hated fighting the hoard of rush hour zombies, a hoard that I was an unwilling member of.
Now, I am able to curse loudly, in the comforting confines of my car, at errant drivers with half a brain to cut into my lane without signalling their intentions in advance. I absolutely adore that freedom.
What is waiting in line for a parking lot in town? Beats being at the taxi stand with 20 other disgruntled people like me for sure. I am enjoying the perks of having my own car so much that I feel quite awful about it. Because I have to pay through my nose for that kind of pleasure.
It seemed almost… foolish… to fork out exorbitant sums of hard-earned money when I could have just stayed, like a good girl should, as a rush hour zombie. Yes, my only joy in life would be: to snatch a seat on the packed trains, and keeping my ass on it for the entire trip home, without having a heavily pregnant lady or an old man appear in front of me.
It’s an absolute luxury to be able to lug bulky items home in the boot of my car. I’ll just need to focus on getting home safely – without having to balance a ton of bags and stuff while fighting the insane crowd.
That’s until I see the dwindling figures in my bank account.
So now you know. The daily torment of funding that sweet luxury. So I need to make moar money. Moar moar moar money to fund that addiction of car-ownershipaholism…
I has it. And I has a sad. Argh.
This morning, Jeffwee came to me while I was still asleep and told us that Sweetpie had died in the night. I was in shock, as she was still eating and pooping and was getting better… and now suddenly she’s gone…
Here’s a picture of her in much better times…
Sweetpie 2002-2010
Goodbye… Rest well now… You know we love you…
You have been a very brave bunny…
It’s been a good 2 years (albeit a very busy, and sometimes frustrating 2 years) with Cat Welfare Society… and I have officially stepped down as its President, after being on the hot seat for a full year.
I am very glad that I stuck with the Society, thus fulfilling my “promise” to stay for the full 2 years, and also to keep it going, despite the looming threat of nearly having to close the Society down at one point in time.
But fortunately, we have found a new batch of passionate newcomers who are dedicated, driven and very keen on taking the Society to the next level. I am more than happy to pass the baton on to them, knowing that the Society will be taken to new heights with their leadership and vision.
I took on the ordinary committee member role when Dawn left (she was a huge part of the Society), thinking that I will never have to take on a heavier load… but little did I know, I was somehow propelled to the President’s position due to some major shuffle in the exco.
It has been a great learning opportunity and I have met so many capable and wonderful people during my term. I will be making good use of the invaluable experience that I have gained with managing a Non-Profit Animal Welfare Organisation, and apply the knowledge to the professional aspect of my life.
I will still be on the exco as one of its ordinary committee members, until I start school, perhaps. But a formal, and clean handover is in place 
Woot! We are going back to Tokyo (on a budget – but what’s stopping us!!!) and bunking over at a friend’s place 
I am so excitedddddddd!
Well the worst is over. Somewhat over.
She is back home with us now, and definitely in a better mood than when she was in the little space she occupied at the vet’s that’s filled with grumpy meowing cats and attention-seeking woofing dogs.
But she’s still not eating as much. The abscess must be hurting her quite a bit.
We are still force-feeding her everyday with Oxbow Critical Care formula, coupled with some appetite-improving supplements and antibiotic injections. She hates being force-fed… but that’s for her own good, you see.
The vet suggested “letting her go” if all we do is still not enough for her. She’ll either shut down from gut stasis (by not eating) or complications arising from the abscess.
I guess, we’ll just give her lots of cuddles and love… during her last days with us. 
She’s had a long, happy life… and I guess that’s probably enough for us.
Turns out the molar spur was the minor issue. Somehow the vet found a huge abscess in Sweetpie’s jaw and it’s pretty bad.
Just went to visit her, and she’s not doing well at all.
She’s too old for another GA (after the molar extraction) in such a short period of time and she’s too stressed out to go under LA (she might get a heart attack in the process, no way we are going to put her through that sort of ordeal).
She is still not eating much, according to the vets… and they taught me how to inject her with antibiotics to control the abscess, but that is only a temporary solution.
And once I did the injection under the guidance of the vet assistants, Sweetpie went into shock and they had to rush her to the emergency room for oxygen.
She took a long while before she was well again. They say she had a minor heart attack.
I can’t help but think it was my fault for doing a lousy injection job, that I might have accidentally poked her muscle due to her skinniness or something. *sigh*
Even if we do put her through the surgery to remove the abscess, she will most definitely get a recurrence again and again. That’s just the way it is.
And the thing is, rabbits can’t do starvation. Once they stop eating, they quickly wither and…
In the end, I couldn’t bring her home with me tonight. I spent 10 minutes stroking her forehead slowly, hoping to bring her some comfort.
I hope she pulls through this one.
I’ve never talked much about my rabbits as… to be frank, I am not as attached to them as I am to my cats. They are very nice and well-behaved, but I didn’t connect with them like I did with Latte. That said, I still care about them a great deal as they are our lifelong pets after all!
Both Sweetpie and Mystique are Holland Lops, a smaller version of the actual Lops, and you know… it means that their ears flop down instead of sticking up like the local rabbits. Jeffwee got them 2-3 years before we got together, and they came with us to our new place soon after.
Sweetpie the orange bun is the more inquisitive and active one, while Mystique the dark grey bun is more… introverted. But they are both really fluffy and lovely… But as they turned 8 this year, their health hasn’t been the best of late.
Sweetpie has been losing weight quite a bit… and after a trip to the vet today, we found out that she has molar spurs, which is some kind of overgrown teeth which makes eating painful or uncomfortable. So we have got to fatten her up by force-feeding her some nutrients, and then to send her in to get her teeth filed down or something. I hope it’ll all go well.
Don’t think she’ll do that well under GA at her age, but she’ll be fine… we hope.
Barffie is an internet addict, a music video junkie and a crazy cat lady who loves roaming the world.