Barffie The Whine Connoisseur

Heart-wrenching song from Romeo+Juliet…
“Pride can stand a thousand trials
The strong will never fall…
But watching stars without you
My soul cries…”

I dunno how long does it take for me to stop posting
all these emotional shit.
Getting impatient.

But seriously, I know I am going to get over this.
I know that
“In the words of a broken heart,
It’s just emotions, taking me over
caught up in sorrow, lost in the song…”

And I have to do better better better trailers now.
Damn the pressure.
I need to brush up on my script writing skills.
GAAAAAAAAAHHHH…

“I got all my life to live
I got all my love to give
I will survive I will survive!”

Well jus wondering why I haven’t killed myself yet.
Considering I live my life mainly by emotions…
Considering alot of things in my life ruffles my emotions…
Very much indeed.

Well some who know me well would know I did fool ard
with a knife b4…
N going to work with a bandana for cover…

Haha… It’s stupid.
I realised how stupid it is.
And I will never do tt again.

I still lack optimism in my thinking.
I am cynical and skeptical as always.
But I know in order to continue living in this world,
in order to survive the stones tt life throws at us,
we have to harden ourselves,
fight against the wind,
breathe deeply,
and keep walking.

If u ever need a hand, I’ll be here.

Woke up feeling empty.
Hate that.
Woke up feeling the loss of somebody.
Completely undesirable feelings.

But I remembered feeling strong, beautiful and confident.
Jus the night before.

Why do moods swing?
Godammit.

Stop apologising.
Stop feeling bad.
Stop thinking u have done me a henious wrong.

Because u didn’t.

You gave me happiness.
Even though it didn’t last.
You gave me hope of a beautiful future.
Even though it didn’t come true.

But I am thankful that we have gotten together once in this world, overcrowded with numb, jaded, tired people.

In the chaos of this messy messy place called earth,
I am thankful
that we have shared the warmth of holding hands,
the comforting presence of a hug,
the sweet softness of a kiss.

Once.

All tt I ask for now, is that you’ll nurse ur wounded heart well.
So tt u r able to give your best to a future one.
Learn to love another whole-heartedly again.
Let another lucky girl experience what u have given before…
Let her learn what can be happiness.

“Every now and then we find a special friend
Who never lets us down
Who understands it all
Reaches out each time you fall
You’re the best friend that I’ve found
I know you can’t stay
But part of you will never ever go away
Your heart will stay

And I’ll be right behind your shoulder watching you
I’ll be standing by your side in all you do
And I won’t ever leave as long as you believe
You just believe…

I’ll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life will just be kind
To such a gentle mind
And if you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Remember me this way”
~ Remember Me This Way by Jordan Hill (from the movie “Casper”)

“One fine day
You’ll look at me
And then you’ll know our love was
Meant to be

One fine day
You’re gonna want me
For your girl, oh yeah

The arms I long for
Will open wide
And you’ll be proud to have me
Right by your side

One fine day
You’re gonna want me
For your girl

Though I know you’re
Kind of a boy
Who only wants to run around

I’ll keep waiting
And someday, darling
You’ll come to me
When you want to settle down

One fine day
We’ll meet once more
And then you’ll want the love you
Threw away before

One fine day
You’re gonna want me
And one fine day
You’re gonna want me
And one fine day
You’re gonna want me
For your girl”
~ One Fine Day by Natalie Merchant

I’ve felt all these before.
Love found and lost.
I’ve been thru these before…

I’ve been lucky to find people who felt for me.
Then the luck went out way too soon.

Even as I wish for another chance
But I think my faith has been slowly eroded…
Time to harden myself again.

“I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can’t bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes words can’t bring me down, Oh no
So don’t you bring me down today”
~ Beautiful by Christina Aguilera

here i am…
telling u guys another of my being drunk/wasted story…

went to Zouk last night with an irc girl fren, Danice…
met up with Celine, Renjie, Shanna, Tressica…
Nice fun ppl!
Had a great night clubbing…

I drank way too much.
I wanted to get drunk ANYWAY.
Yes i got it… got drunk.

Fell over a stool, puked in e loo, cried in public…
I never cried in public LIKE THAT before.

I jus wanted to get wasted.
Yes dumb method to get over the pain.
Immature, childish… whatever u say.
But everyone has their method of getting over something.
That was my method last night.

But I won’t do it again.
Thanks to the girls who took care of me
and Renjie who sent me home,
helped me open the door when I was too drunk to poke the key in.

I won’t do something like that again.

It’s not the end.
But things do not bode well.

All I want is something simple, I do not ask for much.
Just leave it to nature to do it’s magic.
Like how we met.
That is magic

IRC: the source of my pain n happiness
but I’ll go back to it again and again.
So here I am again,
sitting all teary-eyed in front of the computer,
talking to more strangers.

Anyway, it’s been months since I last felt this way.
No details. But.
I know life goes on.

I need to know me better.
I need to be more disciplined now.
Cos I have my life ahead of me, and only myself to walk it.
Keep Walking.

Guessing Guessing Guessing
I don’t think happiness comes to me that easily.
Maybe I’m just paranoid.
Or maybe my gut instinct is working up again.
And when it does, it’s pretty accurate.
I’m afraid to face the truth,
but I hate being kept in the dark.

If there is anything,
please don’t let me be the last to know.
I can take it, albeit I’ll be hurting.
But I can take it.