Barffie The Whine Connoisseur

Had a great weekend
shooting Jeff Chang+Sky Wu concert…
Then a good dinner at Pasta Fresca with
Audree, Cathy, Joshie, Ludo, Estel, Isth…
Even Derrick and Jon and their another friend
came to say hi to me for a short while…
Ahz I am being loved by my friends…

Very sweet of them to give me presents like…
A pair of girl boxers and thongs (!) from TopShop – Thanks Audree and Milkboii
Windchime for the good CHI – Estel… Meow? ^^
Sunfrower and matching card from Cathy…
Great Afterlife CD from Joshie…

Ahz… very nice thoughtful gifts from my friends in the channel…
I am happy!

But too bad K wasn’t there.
I guess he will feel out of place there anyway.
Somehow I have a feeling that, time’s almost up for both of us.
*shrugs*

Will be celebrating my birthday proper with my colleagues on Saturday.
Alain’s opening his house up for some hardcore mahjong and DVD marathon…
Moahahah it’s all good!
And I heard someone’s bringing booze along :X

Then after that I will meet up with K for some quiet moment I guess.
*shrugs again*

Then, it’ll be celebrating with Seekee after she comes back from KL,
too bad Jooooooli isn’t here. =Oh well…
All is good.

Now I have to collect all the money from people for the Seekee Birthday Fund.
(which I haven’t been doing!)

*shrugs*
speechless me.

Alright. Stuck in office with a short film worth of unusable footage to edit.

Bleah.

I mean it’s not even scary,
and basically nothing much is happening in this quasi-horror-flick-wannabe,
directed by our oh so local “talent” Royston Tan.
CCB!
U CAN’T WRITE A PROPER HORROR FLICK WITH CONFLICTS AND EXCITING SHIT
AND DON’T EVEN MENTION DIRECT ONE!
Only 3 scenes with slightly scarier images…
And what are they?

1. A school boy looking really pale and horrific dark eyed circles,
hanging around the void deck, asking people, “Have you seen my mum?”

2. A long haired female, looking pale and insomniac, hanging around the lift lobby,
and generally making the fluorescent lights go hay-wire,
asking people, “Have you seen my son?”

3. Some general shots of the main character looking really lost,
with some “homeless ghosts” standing around, looking equally lost…

That’s it.

FOOKOO U ROYSTON!
U THINK IT’S STILL SOME BLARDY SCHOOL PROJECT?
U SUCCCCK!
(Of course he does, he’s gay. And there is some gay connotations in it too. )

Hur hur.

I’d rather be editing the Kum Kum trailer.
Damn.

I am bitter, but I am not giving up my pain.
I am sour, being jealous is pretty much my forte.
I am salty, sometimes tasting your own tears can be satisfying.
I am spicy, it’s nice when your kiss stung me.
I am sweet, but being sweet just doesn’t do it.

I am licking my wounds.
Tasting every single one.

Yes I am masochistic.
I am hanging on.
Giving continuously.
It’s a natural instinct for me,
to be able to provide for the one I love.
Including my time and effort,
just to let him know,
I’ll always be here.

Even if it’s not too worth it,
but sometimes,
time will tell.

Or so I hope.

“It’s two in the morning
And I’m calling your name
Your voice on the line is
So far away
And my heart reaches out there
And finds you gone
You walk a path lonely
But you’re never alone

And I’m begging you please
Please
Let me in
Please
please
Let me in

I know there are times when
In ashes you lie
Each one has a shadow
We can’t deny
But there in your darkness
Living your pain
Wanna wrap you in love, babe
Again and again

I’m begging you please
Please
Let me in
Please
please
Let me in”

Please by Lamb

……….
Once again. I regret my decision.
……….

Oh well. It always help not to hold high hopes for things.
Especially job hunting.

I guess I will need to wait a little more,
before being offered a place into the new company…
They are looking for a much more senior and experienced person
for now actually.
-_-
Also, they are offering 3 months contract to certain people first,
because they wanna test them out before offering them a more long-term position.

Too bad for me then.
I’ll be staying at MW for a few months more.
Time to collect my 13th month pay, my bonus early next year,
and continue enjoying my 21 days leave.
OH WELL!

So my plans for Oz won’t be disrupted after all.
*shrugs*

Thanks guys for showing all these support.
But oh well. Held too high hopes lorrrr…. -_-

Popped the question to him.

After asking him all about his day,
after listening to him ramble on about how tired he is,
how he has been working so hard for the moolah…
Feeling all bitter and sweet at the same time…

I brought up the issue.

He told me (again!) he did not know what to say.
Do I expect him to scream at me?
I told him,”I rather you shout at me, at least this way I’ll know how you feel.”
I asked him if he was nice to me just because he sympathised with me.

He did help me get over Mr S.
He did pick me up and gave me warmth and let me into his crabby hug.
He is patient, and always have been endearing.
He is a sweet boy who seem nonchalant on the outside, but soft deep within.

That’s why I suspected he sympathise with me more than anything else,
therefore he is enduring all those things I am hurling at him.
He said,”If I didn’t feel anything for you, I wouldn’t have gone out with you all these while. No one can make me if I didn’t want to.”
His brand of reverse psychology have always stumped me.

People who have been following my blog
(didn’t realise emo freaks like me can draw regular readers as well)
told me that I should leave.
My heart told me to stay. It’s always the case.
This person actually told me (you know it’s you),
it’s really very hard for a shy guy to express himself to someone whom he cared for.

[02:39] e: expression to you
[02:39] e: is a form of communication
[02:40] e: has it ever concured to you that perhaps for him
[02:40] e: expression is still a growing liablity?

Emotional roller coaster I am,
and I am now spiralling down. down. down.
When will I finally get off it?

I think I hurt him quite a bit with my bashing recently.
After hanging up, he smsed me a “goodnight”.
That’s when it starts to flood. Real bad.

[02:42] e: love isnt just the expression of thought or action
[02:42] e: or obssession
[02:42] e: nor the pining.

Am I wrong?

If I do get my new job.
If the pay is alright.
I will give my mum extra 50 bucks every month.
That works out to around $600 bucks contributed to family every month.
*wipes sweat*
Those were the days when my sisters each only have to fork out $250…

Not whining here. Just doing some conscious calculating.

I am still happy to see his SMS.
I still smile to myself on his little report-strength efforts. =)

Image hosting testing 123

Oooohhhh it works!
Lazy to upload fotos leh…
My photoshop is not installed yet anyway…
WHO GOT PHOTOSHOP 6.0 TO LEND ME???

Spent the past 3 hours trying to customise this template I found over the net.
Very my kind of layout.
Simple.
Straight forward.
And Red and White.
Moahahahaa…
And there is not a single picture in sight.
And there’s the bunch of ?????? spraying out of the pointer if you realise… ;p

Lemme recall what I did yesterday…
Met up with Ludo, and 2 others for a trip to visit the “New Age” Section of Kino.
Didn’t realise they stock such an extensive amount of books on Witchcraft
and the occult… o.O
Must be careful about what I read man. ;p

Then I met Cathy to watch Wicker Park starring Josh Harnett,
at Fort Canning Park AGAIN!
The third time I have watched a movie this way, with her.
HAhahaah…
It was alright,
some family-ish Class 95 event…
Didn’t realise Glenn Ong, Vernetta Lopez,
Jean Danker and a few others are in Class 95 now…
I am really out of touch with the radio scene I know. ;p
But this movie is not suitable for a family event man.
Wrong pick this time, the organisers.

And then I popped over to this friend’s office to watch some DVDs
and simply talking crap for the rest of the night,
before I slowly made my way home.

Didn’t manage to talk to K very much.
He gave me a morning call, made some small talk,
and that’s about it.
But he did call me on Friday night too.
After some more small talk,
we were stuck in the same awkward silence once more.
Like how we usually land up on.

Milkboii says this is a sign of a relationship-gone-mundane.
5 months into it and it has already gone mundane?
=( Seriously, I know the answers have been ringing to me time and again.
But I can’t bear to let him go.

My crush for that other guy, faded.
So no worries for this part.

Maybe I should really be single.
My heart is still on “search” mode.
So many eligible guys appearing around me non-stop.
And I am distracted by their presence, just because I can’t find a soul mate in K.

I’ve changed. Am I?
I am no longer the blindly faithful girl like 1-2 years ago.
*shrugs*