Hopeful?.

It’s not the end.
But things do not bode well.

All I want is something simple, I do not ask for much.
Just leave it to nature to do it’s magic.
Like how we met.
That is magic

We Broke Up.

IRC: the source of my pain n happiness
but I’ll go back to it again and again.
So here I am again,
sitting all teary-eyed in front of the computer,
talking to more strangers.

Anyway, it’s been months since I last felt this way.
No details. But.
I know life goes on.

I need to know me better.
I need to be more disciplined now.
Cos I have my life ahead of me, and only myself to walk it.
Keep Walking.

Down and Out.

Guessing Guessing Guessing
I don’t think happiness comes to me that easily.
Maybe I’m just paranoid.
Or maybe my gut instinct is working up again.
And when it does, it’s pretty accurate.
I’m afraid to face the truth,
but I hate being kept in the dark.

If there is anything,
please don’t let me be the last to know.
I can take it, albeit I’ll be hurting.
But I can take it.

Back From Genting.

Just came back from Genting with Sap last night…
Summary > Genting = Family trips with kids only.
Other combos, need not apply.

It’s crowded.
Noisy.
Crowded.
Not too good a place for relaxation.

Not into gambling, but we went ahead and explored e casinos…
Got around the blackjack tables…
Learnt the malu-ating way, on e rules of betting…
Learnt tt ppl actually shout “PICTURE! PICTURE!” when they want a
K, Q, or J to their Aces.
Or tt they shout “PICTURE! PICTURE!” when they want the banker to “burst” by having 10 pts on top of their original pts.
And the dealers uses a special hand gesture,
ie flipping the palms outwards whenever they deal some cards,
or whenever they counted and displayed the chips on e table.
HMM! We learn something new everyday!

We won RM40…. Not too bad… Can feed us for one good meal

Things tt I feel BLEAH abt the trip or the place:
1. Queuing for 3 hrs for cable car ride up from Awana.
2. Awana Skyway station and cable car itself are badly-maintained.
3. Taking lousy Queue numbers for checking in.
4. A rushed and unromantic V Day dinner.
*It’s not the prob w the company for the night*
5. More queuing: for amusement rides, for food, for everything.
6. Teeny weeny room, not too well maintained, dirty windows, tiny shower stall, toilet cubicle… bla bla bla… But it was alright. Considering I’ve stayed at worse ones.
7. Slow service and ppl jumping queues.
8. Not eligible for Go-Kart, I’m 2cm too short. GODDAMN!
9. Sore throat, coughing leading to not being able to eat other things.
10. Left my fave undies n fave pair of yoga pants behind! DAMN!

But I still enjoyed the trip, why?
Cos it’s with Sap ler… … :”>

Anyway he fell sick, got a little fever n stuff on day 1…
Poor thing… But at least he slept n rested more than he did in SG.
More than willing to take care of him.
But he refused Panadol n stuff… Glad he got well

All in all… I would prefer to go somewhere either for the shopping,
the sun+sand+sea (ie Maldives or Ibiza or wherever), the culture, the scenery, the architecture (ie Europe or Chicago or watsoever)…

Rather than for casinos and amusement rides.
So places like Disneyland and Las Vegas are out for me I guess…

I Got Promoted!.

I got promoted to Trailer Producer on this day in history.

I would like to first thank Soo Ping for giving me all the chances
to do trailers and being incredibly patient with me n my errors…
Seng Wah for speaking up for me this morning n being my career consultant n teaching me ways of the world…
Anna who always helped me in trailers n stuff…
And of cos Harry who taught me things,
made me appreciate the finer things in life,
and also helping me in my career path…
And also Fong and the other producers who were patient with all
my grouchiness, my carelessness, my noisy demeanour…

Congrats to Jeff who got the permanant position…

But I can’t help but feel guilty towards Fong.
I took something tt shld be his.
I’m much younger, less experienced,
but he really inspired me in the earlier days to be more
watchful of other ppl’s feelings in work,
and being more active and helpful and stuff…
Even though I always diss him and beat him up…
But he’s really a brother-figure or something ler…

But the rest told me tt I did better trailers,
he’s better in production and stuff…
So the criteria – I would make a better choice…

I shld really stop whining and complaining abt how my life sucks.
Cos life has really been nice to me.
I got this job, almost weeks after I grad (before I got my dip)…
Got a stable income (albeit a little low) thingy,
never mind the initial boring shitass things I hv to do,
having great colleagues who tolerated me and taught me things,
all the chances and opportunities tt were given to me…
And now at the age of 22/23,
I got promoted to a producer’s position.
And having a great new bf…
Even though he’s leaving for KL soon,
but it’s good for both of us also,
we can concentrate on our careers a little more this way.

Many times I thought of leaving,
but I hv to admit tt my laziness had put off me quitting
n going elsewhere for quite a long time.
The familiarity of the place, the stability, the fun people…
They did play a part in keeping me there for longer…
Comfort zone indeed.
But I’m glad I stayed long enough to see this day…

2003 had been hell, but I survived it and emerged stronger…
2004 is the time I shld strive again,
and make good of my opportunity,
to say thanks to those who supported me…

I am grateful.
Big hug to all of you.

New Relationship Questions.

FTP was down for days… =\
and thanks guys for the wonderful comments on my cooking post…
Willl try it out one of these days…

Now trying to fight for a step up in my career…
tok to my boss n ask if i can…
get some promotion or something…
cos they r looking for a “cheap” producer ma… =\
well but then fongkee how, he’s been ard a little longer than i hv…
i dun wanna piss him off…
been colleagues so long liao,
dun wanna sour it cos of some competition?
ahz i dunno man…
but i’ll speak to Paul tomorrow morning…
hv to try. ya?

Sap’s leaving for KL to work in early March.
it’s good tt he gain overseas working experience,
even if it’s jus across the causeway…
of cos i’ll be lying if i say i’m totally ok with the idea…
but i hv faith…
there’s a difference between getting together with
someone in ur teenhood, n in ur adulthood.
have yet to understand the intricate bits…
but we both hv faith…
jus a little unhealthy on e new relationship thingy…
but we hv faith…
things are very different now.

Jacq’s Housewarming.

Ahz… Went to Jacq’s comfy little housewarming party…
Feels like a poly gathering as well…

Interesting to find Chilli n Charlene together…
They are a very comfy couple!
I mean awww just LOOK at them

Sap went also, he being his usual silent/paiseh/serious self…
But I feel happy with his presence around me…
Really happy.
Even though he might be a little bored
by our incessantly bo liao jokes…
But after tt, cool to see him warm up to my friends…
N suan me together ler…
But tt’s nice…

Cookingggg.

Alright.
I should learn how to cook.
Yes The YuckyGirl says she SHOULD learn how to cook.
Argh…
I need to overcome my fear of heat,
of scalding myself,
overcome my butter-finger-ness…
I’m afraid I’ll burn down the whole house or something… =\
Yes I am being dramatic again…
But my previous memories of my horrifying Home Economics class…
Comes back and haunt me…
Ai yohhhhhhhhh…

Bothered.

BOTHERED:
1. Money
2. Fats
3. Money…

Health Signs – Down.

something’s wrong w my body.
showing some signs of abnormality…
dunno what’s going on.
i hope e test results come back n say i’m healthy n stuff…
and i hope to fall sick soon.
my body’s been hanging on for quite some time,
and i dun wan it to crash on the day i’m going Genting…
argh!