Barffie The Whine Connoisseur

Someone asked me if my judgment of guys now
will be clouded by the fact that I’ve just broken up with K not too long ago.
The truth is, most people will be still sulking over the loss of someone supposedly close to your heart, sometimes for months or even years.

But I am no longer the girl whom I used to be.
I used to mourn over the loss of a POSSIBLY wonderful relationship, very much indeed.
At least that’s for Mr Fatty’s case.
4 years is a long time to love someone that deeply.
But hey! I’m over him, and I AM better than before!

The ones after him… I’m glad they did not have a very long term damage on me.
*Thank goodness*
I was agonised mostly DURING the mutating relationship, not AFTER it.
Of course, the hurt and disappointment of people piled up after sometime,
but after that, I tell of my stories, as if they weren’t my own.

Especially when I was the one who decided enough is enough.
6 months of trying to understand his lukewarm responses to my every word.
6 months of trying to get him to open up and talk about feelings.
6 months of trying to get used to his fluctuations of affection-dispensing.
Enough doubting and enough tears I have shed for those nights of WTF-ness.
I have tried.
I’m sure he did too.
We are just two pieces of puzzles that doesn’t fit.
He belongs to another puzzle altogether.
It’s nobody’s fault. Really.
I found myself being able to let go much more easier now.

I am sure you guys are sick of hearing me fall in and out of love continuously for months now.
Each one in quick succession. (Yeah I know I know…)
I must seem like a player now, but I am the player who gets hurt in the end?!
I SHOULD BE OUT THERE BREAKING SOME HEARTS MAN!

But yeah, that’s not me.
I can’t be a player if I gave all my heart and attention to the man of the moment isn’t it?

After Mr Fatty, it didn’t work out with Mr M, because he simply do not have the time for me,
and did I mention I do not feel too comfortable in his golf-playing, chain-smoking presence?
Too much MIA from him as well, hate being ignored for no blardy reason.

As for Mr S, lots of it has been discussed in my previous posts,
I like him, but I guess it’s just too much trying to endure with someone poking at your flab ALL DAY,
it’s just too much hanging around with someone who doesn’t find you the least interesting,
but find you just a NICE GIRL… so… Zzz…
He thinks he’s so goddamn smartass anyway. HUR! *sarcasm detected?*
And it’s just too much being in love with someone who just talk about his EX-GF all day? Nuff said.

As for K… Please read above if you didn’t notice. -_-

To quote Su-Lynn from years ago,
“You have to kiss alot of frogs before you get to kiss the prince.”
Pretty true.

All I want and all I need,
is someone who can love me for all that I am.
Bad hair day, PMS, whineyness, paranoia, histronics, fears and all.
Someone who treasure my efforts and presence and reciprocate in the same way…
Someone who understands my fears, the same way I’ll understand his.
Someone who’s willing to open up to me, trust me, and just be comfortable with me.
Someone to complement me for all that I am and all that I am not.

I need someone as nutty as me as well.

I would like someone who fits my sub_conscious_criteria though.
Someone who doesn’t smoke and gamble and over drink…
Horrible, cash-burning, impractical traits to pick up.
Someone who is kind, helpful, generous, gentlemanly, bla bla bla bla bla…
The list goes on I know.

It’s a freaking soulmate I am looking for, man…
Someone to complete me.
It’s so easy to get a man’s money,
but it’s hell trying to get a man whose heart and soul is so close to yours.
Damn.

Tonight, the uber positive feelings that tumble within me scares me so.
I think our search is over now.
Never felt this way, ever before.

SHIT.

“I love him! I love him for the man he wants to be.
And I love him for the man he almost is.”
- Renee Zellweger’s character in Jerry Maguire

This was a day when Monday blues struck (yet again).
Basically all of us had 0% mood to do any work.

Alain was basically more excited in preparing for stuff for his showreel,
as well as the “Ah Fei Zheng Zhuan” and “In The Mood For Love” posters
that Haha helped him get from the shop at JB again.
We couldn’t keep our hands off the former. Heh heh.
Nice poster with Leslie Cheung, Jacky Cheung, Andy Lau,
Tony Leung, Carina Lau, Maggie Cheung posing quite Wong Kar Wai-ly.

But he’s intending to sell off both of them,
as he already owned one great print of “In The Mood of Love”, framed.

We tried talking him in keeping the “Days of Being Wild” one, but oh well.

Love movie posters and the mood created in Wong Kar Wai’s films.
Not all of them were enjoyable, but I like “Chungking Express” and “Days of Being Wild” and “In The Mood For Love” and…
Basically Christopher Doyle is one of my favourite cinematographers.
And of course WKW’s art director – Cheung Sok Peng.
Just look at “Hero”.
Every frame is a postcard.
(Links removed because I lazy to load onto my Flickr acct. Paisehhh…)

Anyway we went to Bugis for lunch.
As the trend of my lousy appetite continued, I wasted quite a bit of my food
Took some leisurely time browsing around the OOOO-SOOO-CUTEEEE toy shops…
So much things I wanna own, so little MARNEY (usual whine #1).

As for dinner, went to Sakae Sushi at Toa Payoh with Mr NG.
Thanks for the remark you made about my hair.
I WILL REMEMBER IT! >:@

Then, met Jooooooli, Seekeeeeee, Jacqueline Goh Miao Cow, Bioonaaa
and John at SAKAE SUSHI at Heeren for makan AGAIN.
Ahahah the timing was immaculate.

Poor Seekee had some issues with her upcoming stage of her life,
I hope she’ll work it out nicely.
I know how it’s like being sandwiched in such a situation.
You can do it yah?
I’ll be here if you need me.

Thanks Jacko Wacko for the dressss! I like it!
You certainly know my taste girl…

Both Jacq and Joo had pink highlights on their hair,
and Jacq is bound for another hair colour transformation – this time in GREEN!
Glad she decided to embark on her wild fashion trip once more.
And really happy to see Joo pampering herself now.
It’s been tough for all of us.

We’ll rough it out somehow

SCAT QUEEN?
NOW I BECOME SCAT QUEEN!
WALAU!

Play this game!
It will prove that I am NOT SCAT QUEEN!!!!!!

BAH!!!!

This afternoon I went with a friend to have a look at “BIG SMALL BOYS”
fooooling around with model planes at Marina South.

Had a nice relaxing afternoon…
Looking at the horizon, the grass and trees in the distance,
looking at planes circling the sky, and watching out for planes crashing my way :X

Best if there’s some picnic basket as well. ;p
Nice to chomp on some junk food man.

This is a picture of a guy lying prone on the ground,
trying to take a picture of 2 planes to “MIMIC” the World War 2 scenario.
The rest of them must be laughing at his ass. ;p
(No don’t hit me kekeke!)

Spying on a couple taking wedding photos amongst the lallang.
HOW CHEESY.
I would prefer taking my wedding photos in the urban area or in posh clubs.
Too bad we aren’t as metro as New York City.
Even the entrance to subway stations can look so cool.

This is supposed to face the other way.
But my friend actually put a CHICK soft-toy into the PILOT’S COCKPIT.
The things people do?! WTH!

The view of the sky scrapers and the cars lined up.

Two of the more prettier looking planes around.
The rest are pretty forgettable. *whistles*

Well well too bad the day was cut short by the presence
of dark looming clouds moving towards the area.
Didn’t actually wanna go home.
But oh well… More GUNBOUND for me then.

1 word.
2 syllable.

Gunbound.

(I’m bound for addiction and destruction upon self.)

-_-”’

Thanks NG for the labbit ears. >(;p

I am absolutely ROTTING at home.

Surfing sites that I have landed on a dozen times.
Reading blogs that have already went stale in my memories.
Talking in IRC channels that no one seem to bother about.
Keeping my system loaded with ICQ, MSN, Yahoo! Messengers allll at once.
I should go surf some more.
Maybe check out Rotten.com…
HUR HUR.

I dunno if you will be reading this,
but boy
I guess we’ve tried.
And we’re tired.
Time to get on with our lives, put the messy bits back into place,
and learn this lesson.

Thanks.

“Lay a whisper on my pillow
Leave the winter on the ground
I wake up lonely, in this air of silence
In the bedroom and all around
Touch me now, I close my eyes
And dream away

It must have been love but it’s over now
It must have been good but I lost it somehow
It must have been love but it’s over now
From the moment we touched ’til the time had run out

Make-believing we’re together
That I’m sheltered by your heart
In and outside I turn to water
Like a teardrop in your palm
And it’s a hard winter’s day
I dream away

It must have been love but it’s over now
It was all that I wanted now I’m living without
It must have been love but it’s over now
It’s where the water flows
It’s where the wind blows

It must have been love but it’s over now
It must have been good but I lost it somehow
It must have been love but it’s over now
From the moment we touched ’til the time had run out

It must have been love but it’s over now
It was all that I wanted now I’m living without
It must have been love but it’s over now
It’s where the water flows
It’s where the wind blows”

It Must Have Been Love by Roxette

I am so horrifically depressed.
OMG!!!!!

Back from Qwen’s much awaited wedding dinner.

Rasa Sentosa managed to disappoint me with their absurdly normal, unfresh food….
And lousy service.
We very much expected something better than that lor…
Goodness.
Other Zhi Char stalls I ate before got at least fresher prawns laaaa…
Zzz.
The fish was flat, coarse and very zzz (ran out of vocab leow).
Harry found a slightly curly hair in the Fried Yam + Cashew Nuts dish.
Hur hur that will earn Qwen some discount I hope.
Plus this blur toot waiter with lousy tray balancing skills
manage to topple a glass of beer on (2 different occasions) both Seng Wah and Danny,
much to everyone’s annoyance.
He even cleared our roasted duck dish when it wasn’t finished,
and didn’t even ASK if we were done with it.
And he suspiciously looks a little like a bigger version of Mr S.
=X

Anyways. The decor was simple, a little retro.
Great Bossa Nova tracks arranged by Weng if I am not wrong.
The wedding video was haphazardly put together though.
I would do a much better job man.
;p

That leads me to think of the approach I would take when organising my own wedding bash.
I would wanna hold my wedding in a club,
with finger food, good music and lotsa booze.
Preferably somewhere like the now-defunct Em bargo or even Velvet Underground!
The oh so slushy velvet seats and red interior of Em bargo attracted me,
(my fave color is red maaaa…)
but they were always showing crap soccer programs on their tv screen.
Should play some music video ma…

From young I have always wanted a big wedding bash.
Love reading Her World Brides since age 14/15? ;p
The princessy shite, the works!

But as I grow older, after helping out a couple of weddings and ROM parties,
I would just settle for a NO WEDDING DINNER JUST HONEYMOON TO MALDIVES FOR A MONTH dream.
Hopefully I meet a guy who’s family is ok without a traditional dinner…
Just a nice small solemnisation ceremony will be nice,
a small little dinner with immediate family and close friends in a classy-chic restaurant like Senso or something.
My family is totally ok with the idea of not holding a wedding dinner.
So pray for me okie.

But I totally love reading those hopeless bridal magazines,
scrutinising not the dresses, but the photography techniques used in the spreads.
The art direction and the mood of the photos are what attracted me to fashion magazines and their endless pages of ads.

If I were to hold a wedding, it will be retro-modern themed.
No cheesy gold and silver, blue and white combos.
Just lots of red and white and splashes of colors.

I would like to have a black gown, even though I look alright in white anyway.
I love Madonna’s outfit in her video “Nothing Really Matters”,
as well as in “Frozen”…
The blood red modern kimono and boots combo…

The witchy black gown… and those Henna tattoos!

You know how much I like her music videos.
Should buy a copy of her Ray of Light album when I have the money,
or even better, one which includes her music videos. ;p
Damn.

Right…
Back to the wedding talk.

I just wanna go Maldives for a good 2 weeks at least.
Your own private hut looking right out to sea,
the clear turquoise sea, the swaying palm trees,
the white powder-for-sand beach, the blue blue sky…
Laze around on the beach chair, an iced lemonade beside me,
and some good Bossa Nova tracks playing in the background.
My man sleeping beside me, a book on his face.
Bliss…
Too much of a lazing might turn into boredom, but who cares?!

“Someone to hold me tight
That would be very nice
Someone to love me right
That would be very nice
Someone to understand
Each little dream in me
Someone to take my hand
To be a team with me

So nice, life would be so nice
If one day I’d find
Someone who would take my hand
And sam ba through life with me

Someone to cling to me
Stay with me right or wrong
Someone to sing to me
Some little sam ba song
Someone to take my heart
And give his heart to me
Someone who’s ready to
Give love a start with me

Oh yes, that would be so nice
I could see you and me, that would be nice”

So Nice by Astrud Gilberto

Once more. I present my work of boredom.
Photos of myself.
Wonderfully edited in Photoshop itself.
Can fight with Xiaxue boh?
Ji Happening Liangggg Xia!

Quasi Gypsy Look. *blurgh*

Glamour Queen Look.

Kawaii Librarian Look.

Which one mei mei most?