Revelation
by barffie
I have many friends. Casual friends… School friends… Colleagues turned friends… Cat-loving friends… Internet friends…
However I struggle to name one as my BFF. I do have close friends whom I am somewhat close to, yes. But that one or two that I’ll always hang out with? Whom I will call whenever I hit a brick wall? Whom I will call when I am feeling ecstatic? And I’ll be the first one she approaches whenever she needs a shoulder to lean on?
I wonder why I am not part of a Sex & The City kind of girly friendship thing, where we will share every gory and intimate details of our lives and stuff, on a regular basis. That we’ll itch from within if we didn’t see or hear from each other for some time.
Perhaps I tend to drift into my own thoughts during gatherings, for fear of revealing too much. Or it could be I am always holing up at home and doing anti-social stuff like surf the net, or play with my iPhone, doing the pseudo-friendship thing online.
I open up more when I post to the WWW, like on Plurk or something… but when it comes to actual face-time… I’m not sure how I am doing when it comes to securing tight friendships for real.
It just struck me this morning, that I could be socially inadequate. Or something. Beats me.
I’m afraid of saying or doing the wrong things. I’m afraid to react to what people say in the wrong way. I’m afraid of people ignoring me when I open my mouth to speak, so I’ll take the easy way out by not talking.
When I hit a snag in my life, the first person I’ll call is my husband, whom I regard as my best friend. Not a girlfriend. Not a close friend. Not a special person other than my spouse.
Is this normal? Is this what people in long-term, stable relationships usually do? Am I being too hard on myself? Or am I thinking too much?
How do I be a better friend? Meet them up more often? SMS them more frequently? Buy them more gifts? Or just be there if and when they need me?
I… am really not too sure.
On another note, I’ve always thought I’ve got some form of Attention Deficit Disorder. Interesting read here. And here.
I have the same exact issue. Establishing tight friendships past a certain age is tough.
I am certainly with you on this one. I felt the same for a long time. Then again, I feel that everyone’s character is different and we do not have to change ourselves for others. And it’s kinda interesting that no matter how nice the other person seems to be, if you don’t click, you just won’t.
Fat squirrel: I guess it’s just part of growing up =\
Fitti: Long time no see! I agree that being able to click with another person can be difficult. Perhaps it’s the cynicism that builds up, or because we know upfront what kind of people we like or not, based on experience over the years.
I wish being friends could be simple again, though.